Thursday, 26 March 2015

My Narrow Minded Views About My Infertility


When dealing with a health issue, many of us are very narrow minded when it comes to solving the problem- I know, because I was walking the narrow path for over 4 years of my Hippeo journey (you can read all about it starting at The Beginning). On this path, we tend to look for small simple, quick and easy solutions from Dr. Google and trust our doctors (and other practitioners), when they monitor us, prescribe pills and send us for invasive procedures. As a society, we're not taught the major impact nutrition and lifestyle can have on our health and for many of us "It's normal" is the new way of saying "I'm sick". My whole life, I (and REAL doctors) have always said/thought, that I was healthy and because of this, I naively went down the very narrow path of conventional thinking and practice. When I look back over the 6 years of my journey, I can't believe how narrow minded I was. Whatever the doctors and other practitioners said, I listened and I left the scientific knowledge to them (topping it up with Dr. Google of course).

For me it was infertility. And Yes, infertility is a health issue. Simply put: All females are made to reproduce. If this does not happen in a reasonable amount of time, (and you have all the equipment to do it), it's highly likely you have an underlining health issue. It's not just one of those things- your body is letting you know, that it is not healthy enough to create and/or carry a child (rant over). Like many people dealing with a health issue that they can't seem to get any relief from in a timely fashion, I focused on all the simple, quick and easy(ish) solutions and then tried all the invasive procedure, including IVF. I walked the long narrow path and guessed my way down it. It all failed, simply because I was overlooking the big picture, as I'm sure many of you that stumped onto this page have been doing too! I don't blame anyone for this, it's just the way our society is set up.
For many of us we're often lead to believe or just natural think that our "symptoms" are normal. I hear my friends say it all the time: I get head aches, it's normal thou- the doctor has just given me some pills or They're kids, it's normal to be sick- they just pass it around. For me this was so true- infertility was normal and it happens to a lot of women- you just have to keep trying. At the very beginning of my infertility journey (like 6 months in) I suffered with ovarian cyst and really thought these were having an impact on my fertility. The doctor (a women) brushed them off and said many women get them and they're normal. She did nothing about them and told me me to keep trying- I hated this! One month I was suffering really badly with a cyst and I had had enough- I took myself to the ER, not because I was about to die, but I wanted to get my doctor's attention. Obviously, this is such a waste of time for the medical staff at the ER and I'm truly aware I wasted taxes payers money, but I was so desperate to get my doctors attention and I couldn't think of any other way. (One of my best friends was actually working a shift in the ER and I tried to hide from her- I was so embarrassed!) But it work and my doctor took much more of an interest in me (calling me the next day) and sent me for some more testing. At the time I was happy, but in reality it all leading to a bunch more of nothingness (obvious now), but it got the ball rolling faster down the conventional protocol path for infertility. I knew nothing different and I was happy to walk down that narrow path.
We Heart It
I walked down the narrow path for 3 more years, doing ever test under the sun and then we naively went to do a round of IVF. Nothing big was found and the only advice we were given was to take folic acid- no other lifestyle and dietary changes needed before, during or after the cycle. Obviously I cut out (LIES- cut down) drinking alcohol and I moved on to non-alcoholic beers when I was doing the first cycle. (I've never had a problem with sugary drinks or food, caffeine or takeaways, so there was no need to cut out any of these.) I'm really LOL right now, because I can't believe that was the only thing I changed- 4 years of infertility and that's it?!?! But you have to remember, I was fit, healthy, active, happy, in love, with wide hips and ready to push one out! Why would I be thinking out of the box, and my doctors sure weren't telling me to either. It just goes to show the true understanding I (and my doctors) had about my health issue- which was none at all!

I was naively self supplementing with all and any supper food, liquids and pills linked to fertility too. Supplements and herbs are great when you use them correctly, but for me I was using them in a very narrow minded way- I used them thinking that they could be the answer to the problem, not as support. I don't know how I could possibly think using Royal Jelly (among others) could improve my egg quality, but all that non-alcoholic beer I was chugging back, had no effect- WTF!? And after the first failed IFV, the doctors again came up short. I had sh*tty embryos and that was it. There was no questions put to why the embryo quality were bad and certainly nothing they could recommend for improving their quality.

Because the doctors weren't given me the answers I wanted (needed really), I went to other practitioners in the naturopath world. Many I saw the light fast and didn't spend to much time with, but one I got sucked in and naively followed every word of advice for over 4 months. He was an iridologist. A big man, with a brilliant reputation for help women concern their infertility (amongst other issues) and there was loads of old thank you cards pined up all over the waiting room to prove it. He was a smooth talker and he was telling me everything I wanted to hear. He had great insight into my (and my husbands) habits and was amazing at reading personalities, looking back he would be a great illusionist- he totally has that skill. I had already started my new lifestyle diet, so when he showed us a list of food he wanted me not to eat anymore, I was ok with it- I had cut most of it out anyways. I unfortunately had very little understanding of nutation at that point and went blissfully onto his no carb diet (not even root veg) and a hole heap of supplements (some I should have never been on). I remember calling him a telling him some of my new hormonal issues, and with out any other face to face consultation he just started to guess at what supplements I should stop taking- this was not a good sign. While I do believe he has help other women, this was just BS and I had to wake up to the reality I was walking down this narrow path with someone who had no clue what was going on with my body.
This is when I started to get a little less narrow minded and started to seek an exit off the narrow path I had been on for so long. I'm not saying that my doctors and the other practitioners didn't do the best job that they knew how, they did and I'm truly grateful for all their time and effort. But they're knowledge and understanding wasn't going to get me to my goal, I need something radical (at lest in their eyes) and it was time to go deep down into the rabbit hole, which also meant I had to stop relying on others for the scientific knowledge and start educating myself. This is a long hard journey, which will never end, but if you've read Becoming a Hippie SUCKS, The Emotional Side of Becoming a Hippie and I LOVE being a Hippeo! Okay love is a strong word- Let’s just say being a hippie doesn’t suck anymoreThe Pregnancy you'll know it's all been worth it!
After walking down the narrow path and then eventually getting of it- I've learnt for best results, you need to search out the root case of your health issue. For me, I eventually found out I had an over active immune system- there's plenty of drugs to battle it, but I want to know the WHY and I want to fix it! I'm truly grateful for modern medicine (because I'm using it alongside my new lifestyle), but I now know that it's not the be-all and end-all of being truly healthy.

Other great post about my journey -
Seeking the True Root Cause of My Infertility,

& My Narrow Minded Views About My Infertility
& How I became a modern day Hippie
or something close to it - Infertility to Mother 

If you'd like any support on your own journey or have any questions Let's Talk
Please remember that this is simply my story and what I have gone though. These are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. I am open to change, challenges and new scientific developments. What works for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor and all medical advice, should be gotten from a qualified professional. If you feel like your doctor isn't reading from the same nutrition and lifestyle book as you are (or want to be), go find one that is!

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